It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
