I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
