The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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