8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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