K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
