the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
