Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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