Having a random hookup so left but love u
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
