And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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