i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
