Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
