sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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