Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
