You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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