Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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