I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
