i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
