WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
