whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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