perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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