I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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