u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
