i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't turn off my feet"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
