i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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