I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
