You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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