the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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