Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
