he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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