I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
