So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
