No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
