Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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