why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
