So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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