did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
