So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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