my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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