Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
