Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
