how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
