NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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