I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
