Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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