Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'

(1-904): View more from Florida

wtf?

(904): View more from Florida

It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'

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(303): View more from Colorado

i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

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(630): View more from Illinois

Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.

(303): View more from Colorado

Glad to hear you raised your standards

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(562): View more from California

Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night

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(315): View more from New York

I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus

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(303): View more from Colorado

She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.

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