I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
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I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least