I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
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I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick