I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.