before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
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I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.