Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I want to walk on stilts...naked

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  (970): I want to walk on stilts...naked http://tfl.nu/tpp3
  Replies (14) Good night (1959) Bad night (615)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  my head looks like a cockatoo

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom

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  (305): my head looks like a cockatoo (1-305): mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom http://tfl.nu/w2nh
  Replies (10) Good night (1135) Bad night (1567)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My Higher Power is John Stamos

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  (540): My Higher Power is John Stamos http://tfl.nu/1c78
  Replies (11) Good night (2338) Bad night (863)
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  (650): View more from California

  what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?

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  (650): what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job? http://tfl.nu/25b2
  Replies (19) Good night (2952) Bad night (729)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video

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  (914): Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video http://tfl.nu/m72m
  Replies (43) Good night (11476) Bad night (1034)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.

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  (289): The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight. http://tfl.nu/z22w
  Replies (5) Good night (7080) Bad night (1098)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards

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  (520): This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards http://tfl.nu/ehov
  Replies (9) Good night (3537) Bad night (765)
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  (925): View more from California

  She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.

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  (925): She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard. http://tfl.nu/tszy
  Replies (17) Good night (4479) Bad night (1057)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick

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  (215): did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick http://tfl.nu/zk1d
  Replies (5) Good night (1115) Bad night (2385)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"

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  (406): As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends" http://tfl.nu/0sp9
  Replies (8) Good night (3083) Bad night (944)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.

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  (870): Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good. http://tfl.nu/i8bn
  Replies (3) Good night (2432) Bad night (722)
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  (213): View more from California

  I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...

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  (213): I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question... http://tfl.nu/p1j1
  Replies (8) Good night (1212) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO

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  (617): A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO http://tfl.nu/0cgy
  Replies (7) Good night (2753) Bad night (673)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing

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  (403): the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing http://tfl.nu/cpea
  Replies (9) Good night (1548) Bad night (419)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.

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  (954): In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme. http://tfl.nu/cq54
  Replies (0) Good night (615) Bad night (269)

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