It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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