when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
