I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
