i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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