My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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