Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
