This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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