Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
