I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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