After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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