you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
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I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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