I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
